A Simple Happy Birthday
by peroxidepest17
Summary: Sequel to “Nothing Special”- Reprisals were to be expected.


**Title:** A Simple Happy Birthday  
**Author:** Celeste  
**Feedback:** (yes!)**  
Theme:** Sanji's b-day…  
**Universe:** One Piece  
**Pairing:** ZoSan (er…vaguely)  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Time:** Uh… like, 2 hours? I keep losing track. ;;  
**Word Count:** 1,273  
**Summary:** Sequel to "Nothing Special"- Reprisals were to be expected.  
**Dedication:** Sherrymarie, because it's her birthday and I'm not late for it (unlike some others…sigh). At least, I think I'm not. Uh, anyway, hope this wasn't too stupid and that you had a great day, Sherry!  
**A/N:** Yes, I'm disgustingly late. My brain has been smooshed by this thing we call school. Midterms have passed but finals rapidly approach. I am a world of dread and any creativity I had once entertained is being suppressed! Suppressed I say! cough Except for Bleach, which seems to be eating what's left of my brain. But yeah… I felt the need to do something for Sanji's birthday because I did one for Zoro's and it just wouldn't be fair if I forgot completely. ;; Anyway, warnings for some intense OOC and lameness, but such is my way.  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine. ;; But I dream. I dream sometimes.  
**Distribution:** Just lemme know.

* * *

Zoro spent the better part of the week before Sanji's birthday trying to come up with the perfect gift.

Not because he wanted to be nice to the asshole or anything, but it just seemed appropriate after the chef had gone through all the trouble for the swordsman's birthday a couple of months ago.

Zoro didn't like to be indebted to anyone. In any way.

He'd pondered hundreds of scenarios, thousands of possibilities as to what would be the _perfect_ gift, but all of them had seemed to come up unsatisfactory in one way or another.

Like when he'd imagined kidnapping Nami in her sleep and tying her up by the rafters of the galley as a present, the fact that he'd have to deal with Nami _voluntarily_ made him instantly scrap that idea.

Even if it would be hysterically funny to see the ero-ero cook have to deal with a supremely pissed-off navigator on his special day.

But Zoro was only willing to go so far when that woman was involved.

After that he'd briefly entertained the idea of cooking the cook something.

But there were certain lines that just shouldn't be crossed, and messing with Sanji's food seemed to be one of them.

Having precious dreams himself, Zoro wasn't too fond of the idea of making a prank of someone else's.

Plus, the fact that the Going Merry would probably be destroyed in the process was unappealing in that they were miles from land and death by cooking-accident was an embarrassing way for a crew with such a hefty bounty to die of.

Zoro refused to lose to Mihawk again. He wouldn't lose to a stove, either.

So the cooking idea was out.

The other idea he'd had had been to buy Sanji that book he'd seen on their last shore leave…something about 12 easy steps to cull that bad smoking habit.

Because really, Sanji's breath was disgusting.

And being on the receiving end of it so often, the swordsman was feeling cancer creeping up on him by proxy.

But the book had cost money, and Nami was the only one with any, and like the first scenario, voluntarily dealing with her was on his list of things he'd choose dying-by-cooking-accident over any day.

Another "no" on his check list.

Birthday beats had been an attractive option also. As it had every day the swordsman had known the damn asshole chef.

But actively going up and slugging Sanji for some reason, irked his swordsman's honor, some weird justice in him telling him that it wasn't fair to just go up and punch an unsuspecting ally. Now if Sanji punched him _first_, Zoro would have no qualms about kicking the bastard's ass. But being that Zoro had yet to punch him (or anyone) for shits and giggles, he wasn't about to start that sort of disturbing trend.

Plus if he _did_ just go and punch the dumbass, the resulting fight would probably be twice as destructive to the Going Merry than any cooking Zoro ever could have burned.

With that, birthday beats were out of the question.

At one point Zoro had come up with the idea that he would simply buy Sanji an even fruiter apron than the one he had now.

Except…

…Zoro wasn't really sure that existed. He'd looked for a while, but there really wasn't anything that could beat the pink that the blonde already had besides more pink.

In Zoro's book, the Going Merry did not need any more pink.

Plus, he would have had to borrow money from Nami _again_.

Part of him knew that the money, or at least, a fraction of it, was rightfully his considering what he went through every time they collected any, but he didn't like dealing with stuff like that and by the time he'd recovered from whatever wounds/exhaustion that had been the result of that money-gaining adventure, the woman had already snatched up anything of value by then.

Plus the whole apron thing had been pretty lame anyway.

Which irked the swordsman to no end, because really, he'd had a lot of time to plan for this (November was long gone), and he should have come up with something by now.

Given how easily they could annoy each other on a regular basis, he'd thought that annoying the perverted love-chef on a special basis would have actually been _easier_.

So much for that.

And now the day was here upon him and he had absolutely nothing to show for it. Which just made him think back to soup and bullet holes and _tattling_ and made him really annoyed all over again.

He scowled to himself and stared up at the sky, watching the early-morning sea-mist as it began to dissipate with the growing warmth of the sun.

He still had a couple of hours.

He'd think of something.

He'd be fine as long as he kept in mind that however he went about this in the end, it had be good. No lameness like the apron idea could be permitted, considering what an occasion today was.

It had to be big, just to one up the smug bastard after what he did on Zoro's birthday.

Not because Zoro was petty or anything.

He just hated to lose. Especially to _that_ guy.

Thus, today had to be special. Or at least traumatic in some way. Preferably a _great_ way.

Zoro was working on that part. He just needed to think of something big that the blonde would _never_ expect.

Again, not to be petty or anything. Zoro was just practical. If the swordsman didn't plan this out just right, Sanji'd have his number before he knew it and he would have accomplished nothing. The whole special day concept would be wasted.

And that would be a shame.

So whatever it was he did when he figured it out (and he would, dammit), it had to be big. Because knowing it was his birthday, the cook would undoubtedly be on high alert. He'd know to expect _something_.

Zoro stopped.

Turned thought around in his head for a few moments.

Frowned.

And then smiled.

"…perfect."

A little while later, while it was still just the two of them awake, Zoro made his way to the galley, approaching the blonde openly, easily. The chef was at work, the same as any other day, preparing in the pre-dawn hours, the ingredients that he would need for day's menu. Zoro, amiable as he could be walked up behind him, tapped him on the shoulder. "Oi, Sanji…"

The chef blinked mid-inventory at the mock-free use of his given name by the green-haired swordsman, turning around to eye Zoro suspiciously. He knew what today was too, after all.

"Eeh, what is it?" the cook drawled, trying to maintain his aura of detached cool though he was obviously anticipating something horrible to jump out at him any minute now.

Zoro simply grinned and leaned forward, brushing a gentle kiss across the other man's temple. "Happy birthday," he murmured softly before stepping back.

"W-what the hell was that?" Sanji demanded, staring at the swordsman with pink cheeks and suspicious eyes.

Zoro noted, slightly smug, that the blonde was obviously waiting for the other shoe to drop.

So he smiled, turned around and…

…walked away.

Better than Nami-torture, better than burnt food, better than 12-steps, better than random violence, better than gag gifts, just now, Zoro knew he'd found the best present for a special occasion ever.

Watching the perverted idiot act paranoid for the rest of the day was infinitely better than any revenge he could have hoped for.

**END**


End file.
